Allo, Allo

Now here's an important date for my diary - Tuesday October 7th, the Institute of Directors' Bristol Branch Business Breakfast. Ever since my banking days I have always had a soft spot for the IOD and the speaker in October is certainly someone to help the scrambled eggs slide down nicely. My old friend Colin Port will be there to put the record straight about SouthWest One. So much rubbish has been written about this that a visit to the Holland House Hotel is well worth the effort. It will set you back less than £24 for members and a damn good breakfast it is too. For me a chance to catch up with colleagues and maybe do a little business on the side. I have it on the very best authority, for example, that a famous former ecclesiastical building in Paris is coming up for rent very soon indeed. This is one not to be missed. Notre Dame, I recollect, is the name the agents gave me. Give me a buzz anytime and we can discuss. Otherwise see you all in Bristol.

Beyond our Fen

So its off to Adelaide for dear old Mat Taylor. I don't blame him. The Fenlands of Cambridgeshire can be damp and forbidding even at this time of year. And though the Council will be sorry to lose its Finance Director (remember he's also an Executive Director too) I am delighted to hear that Mat will still be doing a sterling job down under until they find a replacement for him. It could take 12 months to find someone suitable. So Mat will get a day's work every week and pick up £20,000 a year! That can buy a lot of tinnies in Adelaide! But give the man an intenet connection and he could operate very efficiently from the moon. Come to think of it that's not such a bad idea. I must mention it to Roger Kershaw.

Blue Movie?

Just back from Edinburgh where I did a great deal of useful business and helped seal some lasting international chalet relationships too. But there I was on the Fringe when a client mentioned this movie. Apparantly it is meant to be a joke. I am not sure.

Ripe for renovation

If you have ever wondered what to do with £28 million pounds (and I know I have) then now is arguably an auspicious time to be looking to the future and subjecting your local authorities to a thorough financial makeover. I can vouch for the excellence of such forward thinking. Here in Somerset we have recently joined forces with a company of inter-stellar repute and influence. Together with our partners the outlook is positively brilliant. Savings can and will be made. Benefits of countless proportions will flow. It is all beyond the wildest expectations of most of tyou. But it is already happening. That is the good news. And here's an better tiding from my contacts in the French property scene. Unbeknownst to most people an absolute peach is about hit the immobiliers. I understand that there are likely to be some challenges in keeping the fabric up to scratch and a potential downturn from the upper balconies might also prove painful. But it oozes exclusivity and I would be happy to place a bid on your behalf for the usual generous consideration.

A good buy

Some excellent new investment ventures have arisen since my last posting. In the course of my arduous work representing the financial affairs of Somerset County Councillor and helping to spread the gospel of transformation to other authorities I have had occasion to speak to many counterparts in the Elysee Palace. It would be wrong of me to drop names, but I think readers will appreciate my reticence when they know that Carla Bruni and my delightful partner once exchanged winks in the foyer of the George V. Suffice to say that word has reached me of a truly amazing business proposition. Under Presidential powers that will, surely, soon be emulated here in Somerset the Government intends to place the pictured Versailles Palace on the open market skilfully subdivided into compact residential units. Each unit, so the agent has informed me, will be decorated to a lavish specification. This must be a once in a lifetime chance to place your savings in Northern Rock upon firmer foundations. Let me know soon, I can always put a good word in the right ear

Bonjour mes amis!

What a brave people the French are. They stand up for their rights and they follow their leaders with loyalty and passion. I recently visited the Vendee region with a delegation of County Councillors. It bears striking similarity to our own lovely county. The populations and topography are a good match and, just like Somerset folk, they are fine people to do business with. But they also know how to fight. They had a significant uprising - almost 100 years after the Monmouth Rebellion - in 1793. This was against the French Revolution, when the peasants rose up to support their religion and the King. It was viciously put down by the Republic and up top 300,000 people were killed. But for all the brutal history the area remains a fine example of investment opportunities in local property. The rising value of the Euro may have dampened demand from these shores but for those with something stashed away a punt in the Vendee may be just the thing. I can always offer the best impartial advice on these things. Just drop me a line.