Green Around the Gills

It takes a big man with guts to change. It takes a man with mettle and conviction. My offer of a comprehensive review of his personal financial position, with no fees involved, plus a chance to get away from it all in France may also have helped. Stephen made his move to quit the Tories and join us on the Lib-Dem benches of County Hall at the close of last week and confirmed his espousal of all that I hold dear today. We heartily applaud his action. And we will look after his ideological interests as long as he loyally toes the line.

Hello Tommy

Larmes pour Alan?

I have been urging positive thoughts upon my old friend Alan. I have recommended that he should adhere to his determined stance and start to believe in himself again. Sarkozy is right. And if he can, then Alan can. I would merely urge that our much-maligned and sorely-missed leader does not follow the French President's example and take up jogging. Those of lesser height now have every reason to be wary. Meantime good news reaches me from the French property market. Prices are down again. And there has never been a better time to give me a ring. I will be handing out my business cards on Friday afternoon at the social event of the decade. Don't miss it. Or me. The Luttrell Room, County Hall. Between 2 and 4pm.

C'est La Vie

As Voltaire once remarked there is nothing like a watershed for shedding water. And, yes, life has been particularly cruel for some of us lately. But friendship and loyalty are my watchwords. That is why I am delighted that Alan and Sue have accepted my invitation to inspect some stunning French property opportunities in my ever-growing portfolio. I have in mind one in particular which I know would suit our flamboyant former Chief Executive down to the ground. Above all I will relish the chance to glean his insight and wisdom into the events of recent days as we quaff the odd glass together. Plus ca change.....

Up the Danube

I bring you very good news from a booming corner of Europe! A trusted friend and business associate of mine is just back from Slovakia which remains outside the eurozone and still offers a generous rate of exchange against our currency. I will be recommending to the Chief Executive that Somerset invests a sensible proportion of its reserves in this emerging country. I have no dout that Mr Jones' worldwide contacts will confirm the veracity of my advice. In the meantime I am also happy to offer help to any of you wishing to transfer investments from other close nations, like France. I am never more than a simple click away.

The Terrific Twins

The era of cross-boundary togetherness is with us at last. And in these difficult economic times it is a worthwhile aim. Twinning can heal wounds. That is why I am urging you all to get behind my plan to twin the lovely Somerset town of Ilchester ........

........with the Icelandic capital city Rejkyavik. Both places have much in common. Iceland is bankrupt - in spite of our wise investment of £25 million of council tax payers money there. Ilchester is also suffering the ravages of the economic downtown and is lucky to have such a skilled representative at County Hall.

Twinning will make sound common sense. It is also likely that new opportunities for investment will open up through such an arrangement. I can thoroughly recommend one place to put your spare cash.

BATH & WEST INFERNO

Today I am proud to be among those senior figures involved in honing the County's emergency plans to perfection. There has been an explosion at the Bath and West Show. I always knew it was dangerous to keep so many gas-filled ruminants in one place. But with good strategic planning we will overcome. The excercise will stretch our team to their limits. However we now have the cream of IBM technology to back us up and I confidently expect that though the learning curve will be steep the results will prove the validity of everything we have done in the County. So, if you spot me as I emerge from the bunker, give a cheery wave or a thumbs up. We are in capable hands today and if it all goes belly-up there is still the chance of a solid investment across the water. That's something to look forward to !

Somerset's Super Roads

Sparky Jones fills in the holes!

Poor Old Jill

Despite my very best endeavours the judges of this year's Women in Public Life Awards have chosen to ignore my personal nomination and opted instead for a trio of inferior local government fillies sadly lacking in Jill's excellent pedigree stock. The lady on the left is Joanna Gardner, currently Mayor of Kensington and Chelsea. She seems to have been nominated by one of her titled relatives. Well we in the Liberal Democrats strongly disapprove of such favouritism at the top. That is why - when this award was announced last November - I urged all of you to get involved in putting our Jill at the top of the pile because of her conspicuous contribution to the well-being of Somerset life. So what went wrong? An inquiry is to be held at the very highest level and there may be moves to have the awards declared null and void. I, for one, am bitterly disappointed on Jill's behalf and intend to whisk her away on a refreshing trip to my beloved France where she may, at last, discover the property bargain of her dreams in which to spend a happy retirement.